Bridge II

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"

    He said, "Nobody loves me."
    I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
    He said, "Yes."
    I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
    He said, "A Christian."
    I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
    He said, "Protestant."
    I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
    He said, "Baptist."
    I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
    He said, "Northern Baptist."
    I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
    He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
    I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
    I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
    He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
    I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

--Emo Philips