Doctrine II

"The first major president to be elected after the War of 1812 was President Monroe Doctrine, who became famous by developing the policy for which he is named. This policy, which is still in effect today, states that:

1. Other nations are not allowed to mess around with the internal affairs of nations in this hemisphere.

2. But we are.

3. Ha-ha-ha."

--Dave Barry,
"Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States" (1989)