Believe, Or He's Gonna Kick Your Butt

"This is for the person that says that the Bible is fiction. Um, the Bible is truth. You obviously don't go to church. Whatever the Bible says, the Bible says. That settles it. I hope they get their life straight with God before Jesus comes back."
--Anonymous message left on The Salina [Kansas] Journal's "Opinion Line Ext. 333", published May 23, 2006