Already Gone

Ran some government-allowed errands this morning, wearing my protest mask of course.  "Mark Of The Beast" written on it with a felt marker.

On the way back, I saw a couple people walking toward the forest nature trail, wearing their face masks.  Walking on the street, nobody nearby for a good block.

If you're walking in the forest on a sunny day with a face mask on, don't worry about the scamdemic.  You've already died.

TLC

Carry On

Government: Citizens, a meteor may slam into the Earth and kill us all.  You must immediately all shove your right thumb up your a**.

Three months later:

Government:. Thanks to the heroic efforts and sacrifices by you good citizens, Earth was not hit by a meteor.  Those of you who still have jobs, you may now return to them. The rest of you, we have nice concentration camps, er "shelters", to take care of you.

Should another space object threaten the Earth, we will once again instruct you on what to shove, and where.

Carry on, good citizens.  That is all.  Until next time.